I am afraid

Yes, I am. I heard a preacher once say that God says in some form or fashion to "fear not" 365 times in the Bible....one time for every day in a year. This is leap year, so I guess I needed to hear it just one more time! One week from this very moment I will be on a plane to Ch*na.  But tonight I need to be reminded that the One who started us on this journey to our daughter will carry us through to the end.

I am afraid of something going wrong.

I'm not really sure what I think will happen.... I've packed, cleaned, organized, checked off checklists, repacked, bought insurance, purchased medications, written down phone numbers, school schedules, and the like, oh....repacked again.... But I'm still afraid "it" could happen. I'm not really sure what "it" is, but I might not have planned for it, or written it on a checklist!

God says, "For I am the Lord, your God, who grasp your right hand; It is I who say to you, "fear not, I will help you." Isaiah 41: 13

I am afraid for Ellie

By now, my baby girl was moved back to her public orphanage, away from her first home and family of New Hope. She must be so confused and frightened. This is why, in the middle of the night, I am not in my own bed. I am kept awake by the thoughts of my little girl alone, and scared. And I still have 12 days until we are together. Even then, she will still be so confused. Her precious heart will endure so many difficult challenges over the next few weeks.

The Lord says, "Even all the hairs of your head are counted. So do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.".

Matthew 10: 30-31

Our mighty God who knows if even the tiny sparrows fall to the ground, knows and LOVES our daughter. He is caring for His child. I trust Him with her.

I am afraid to leave the secure arms of my husband and the precious arms of my other children.

What if one of them gets sick? What if Steven forgets to pack them lunch, or snacks, or anything? What if a bill goes unpaid? What if the van breaks down? What if Molly (our dog) runs away? What if Steven has a really bad day at work, and has to come home to any empty house? What if Thomas is frightened on his first day of preschool? What if Steven forgets to get a picture of it? What if Clare forgets her locker combination? What if Jon gets lonely? What if Anna looses her blanket? Two and and a half weeks is a LONG time! The longest I've ever been away from my children. I am afraid. And my dear husband grounds me, protects me, reassures me, loves me....can I do this without him by my side? I am afraid.

Jesus said to His disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?". Mark 4:40

It will be okay!!!! I have one amazing husband, who cares wonderfully for our children! We have some amazing friends who will be helping with the kids on several of the days. And to top it off, Granny and Paw-Paw are coming to lend a hand as well!!! We are blessed.

Now, I just have to "Let go and let God"!!!!!

Then He placed his right hand on me and said, "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last".

Revelation 1:17

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