Big news....

As you can tell from my previous posts, I have been very sad and frustrated lately.  We have bee waiting for 83 very long days for our LOA (Letter of acceptance from Ch*na).  This letter is a very important piece in our adoption process.  It states that Ch*na has approved us to adopt Ellie, and we sign this document stating "YES, we want her".....boy, is that an understatement!!
Not only have we been waiting for this very important document, we have also been waiting for our NV homestudy to be complete, to include our NV state police clearance, and fingerprints....lots of waiting, and lots of  "nothing yet".... so frustrating...ugh!

So yesterday morning, I choose not to do my usual routine of sitting down with the computer, and checking for updates, hoping and praying, almost willing an email to appear....stating that we have made some progress.

Instead I took my cup of coffee and headed outside for some quiet time with my beautiful Lord.   From our backyard you can see a mountain range....it's beautiful.  I was reminded of an amazing women's retreat I attend and our theme was from Psalm 121 "I lift up my eye toward the mountains, where shall my help come to me? My help is from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."   As I read this psalm, and meditated on it....peace washed over me.  I read the last verses over and over again "The Lord will guard you from all evil; He will guard your life.  The Lord will guard your coming and your going, both now and forever."   I have thought of our God in so many ways, our loving father, our provider, our creator, our mighty Lord, but as our guardian.... this brought me such peace.  I have felt so helpless with this adoption.  I love Ellie so very much, and just want her here now!  I want to take care of her.  In my "mommy mind" I see here sitting in this great big building, being so small and helpless.... I want to protect her, care for her, love her.  Yet I just read that "He will guard  your life".  He is guarding all of us, even my sweet baby.  He is guarding my heart while we wait.  He is guarding this long and slow process....He will guard our going (hopefully soon to Ch*na) and our coming (home with my baby!)
So I left my special time with our Lord and His word with such a wonderful sense of peace....
we did our usual morning thing, and headed out to the gym.

Then it happened....while we were finishing up at the gym, I finally got the email I have been waiting for...

We had Ch*nese food to celebrate. This is from Steven's fortune cookie last night

"YOUR LOA IS HERE!"   There is was...the notice I have been waiting for for 83 long days!!!  We have it!!!  And it was written in a simple, but great email from our amazing agency!!   I guess at some point while you are waiting for this amazing news, you picture it will come written in flashing lights, with fireworks going off, with trumpets blasting....something spectacular......but there it was written simply and wonderfully..... it is here.....here in God's time, not ours!   Of course I wanted to jump up and down, shout, sing, dance!!  Well, I did a little, then Clare reminded me that we were still at the gym, I would be embarrassing.  I wanted to tell all of the other mothers there....but they would have NO idea what I was talking about.  "Hi, friend, guess what, we have our LOA! Can you believe it? She is ours!"....then I would get a very confused look and probably some questions about what an LOA is.....oh well.....  My wonderful friend, Lisa, and my four amazing kids were rejoicing with me!!!   Then, as always in God's perfect timing,  I found out yesterday afternoon that our NV homestudy is completed...fingerprints and all...all of it!!!!  It all came together in one amazing day!!
 I would have posted it on facebook, posted here, and shouted it from the rooftop yesterday, BUT.... I wanted to be patient and tell Steve, before anyone else...oh course!   We are both so very happy!!!

"Like cool water to one faint from thirst is good news from a far country."   Proverbs 25:25

So what now?
Well after we sign our LOA tonight, I will send it back to our agency tomorrow.  Then they will send it back to Ch*na, then we go through a few more steps, then we wait for travel approval (TA).  TA is our permission to go and get our baby girl!!!!!   The average wait time from LOA to TA is 10-15 weeks.....so that means we could be in Ch*na anywhere from mid Aug to Oct.....so still not sure exactly when.  But I can finally see the light....
Ellie will be in my arms in about 3 months!!!!!  Praise God!!  I cannot wait!  Thank you for your prayers...please continue to pray for us.  Please pray that God will prepare Ellie for this challenging time ahead of her.  She will be leaving the loving, comfortable arms of her nanny at New Hope to go to her public orphanage to wait for my arrival.  Keep her in prayer during this very tough time in her little life....but oh, what JOY awaits her here at our home and in our arms!!!!!

Overdue!

Yep...that is how I'm feeling...very pregnant and overdue!  Well, okay so my body does not feel pregnant...*small cheer*...but my heart sure does...and I feel overdue.  For those of you that have known me for the last 11 years...know that I cannot stay pregnant for the entire 9 months....my babies come early. So I'm not used to waiting this long for my little "gift" to arrive.  I know.....I'm crazy right?  I've heard it said by other adoptive moms that while we are waiting for our precious babies...we are "paper pregnant"....it's really scary how similar my emotions are right now to my other pregnancies.  I'm so very emotional...oh and not to forget the 1/2 pan of brownies I finished off tonight!   Tomorrow (in just 20 minutes) will be day 78 of our LOA wait...boo...and we still haven't heard back about our  NV state fingerprints being back yet, or our NV homestudy being complete...double boo!!

My wonderful Lord is teaching me so much about His timing.  His time is perfect...I know this in my head...but I wish my heart would believe it all of the time!  For the last several days I keep saying "Thy will be done".  I say it, I pray it, I meditate on those words, yet I'm fearful of them.  I do want my Lord's will to be done, but I WANT my baby!  How human of me....to think that He does not have everything worked out just the way it is supposed to be for all of us.

He is preparing our family...giving us time to settle here, to plant our roots in our new home
He is preparing our children...allowing them to grow in love and anticipation for their new sister
He is preparing my wonderful husband.... allowing him to begin this new phase of school, and get settled before he meets his newest daughter
He is preparing me... teaching me to simplify our schedule, to run my home with peace in order to welcome our little girl, who will need a soft, peaceful routine to rest and grow.
He is preparing Ellie.... allowing her to continue to touch the lives she is surrounded with now.

In His time....we will be together! Amen.

I know my Ellie is so happy where she is now at New Hope.  She is loved and cared for so deeply.  And this knowledge brings me so much peace.  Just look at this sweet smile...
                                                                                                 and see how happy she is right now.

She is happy! Please pray that I will find peace in my daily prayer...
                                                                                                        "Thy will be done".