There are days when I miss my girl so very much. Days when I think about her all of the time. She is always in my heart, but there are moments when I feel the desperation of the distance I am from her. Not only the geographical distance, but the distance from the date we will be together. She IS my child. I feel this so deeply in my heart. Yet she is on the opposite side of the world from me. It is hard to explain this love. And there is really no reason, except to say that my love from her was placed there by our Lord. Just as my other children were placed so perfectly in my womb, she was placed so perfectly in my soul. I know she is in a wonderful place at New Hope. I know there are people God has placed in her little life that is surrounding her at this very moment with love. But I want to be that person right now! I want to hold her, comfort her, rock her...I want to be with her.
We still have a bit of a wait ahead of us. We are only on day 15 of our LOA wait. The LOA is the next step in our adoption process. This wait can be anywhere from 50-to over 100+ days!! But what I am really worried about is our move. We will have to update our homestudy once we are in Nevada. This can put us back by weeks or months! This also will mean Ellie will be months older when she is in my arms!
I have been praying...every time I feel worried, every time I feel that deep longing for her, every time I feel the vastness of the distance that seperates me from my child.... I hear the Lord's word speak...
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
Pray that my heart will have peace resting in this word and this truth! Pray for my sweet Ellie, that she will feel my love for her through the whispers of her Guardian Angel.
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