Connections

To give you a little insight into a waiting adoptive mommy's world: 

I have a confession...I'm attached to my computer. ugh.... Every day after the kids are off to school, I search for any new information on Jerry or progress with our adoption. We (us adopting mamas) get STUCK to our emails, FB and computers. Sometimes one picture is the ONLY thing you have of your child. And that one picture is the only connection to YOUR child. So we search hoping for more insight, more pictures, more connections.  

It's hard to explain. But the MOMENT you say yes to your child, the MOMENT you let them into your heart....God grows massive roots for that child deep into your soul. My love for Jerry is just as strong, just as real, as my love for the 5 sweet babies I can love on each day. JUST as real. Since I can't love on Jerry, can't ask him about his day, or see how he is feeling, or cook for him, or look into his precious eyes.....I look into his pictures and videos...over and over again! We (waiting mamas) study every detail of every photo we have of our child. I remember the day I visited New Hope, days before I met Ellie, it was very surreal. I remember standing in one of the rooms that was the background for several pictures I had of my baby girl....several photos that I had studied at length over the previous year. I just stood there....knowing she played there, cried there, slept there, and was loved in this very room. I felt like I had known every detail of that room since I had studied it for so long in every picture looking for more clues. My connection to her grew even more that day. And I knew a little more about her even though I had yet to hold her in my arms.

Some days I feel like I know my boy just by listening to his videos over and over again. Yet the reality is there will be so much to learn. And I really cannot wait. I know he likes to sing, I know he likes the colors blue and red, I know he likes dogs. But what about his fears, or what makes him laugh, or what comforts him? All of these things will be unfolded as we spend time together, and God grows our bond. That time is getting so much closer.

As I am busy packing and preparing to leave, I know his amazing foster home is preparing him as well. It will be so hard for Jerry to leave his foster parents. His foster mother knows his fears, she knows what makes him laugh, and what comforts him. She has known him and has loved him dearly for the last 8 years. My poor sweet boy --- saying good-bye will be so hard. I pray every day (all of the time really) for God to continue to prepare his heart. I have asked our Lord, and I trust HE WILL give Steve and I the graces to best be able to comfort Jerry and show him the depth of our love. Please keep praying for him, please continue to pray for all of our family.

For now I leave you with some of my favorite photos--

So you too can get a glimpse into my amazing son's personality!! Some of these are a little older.